I used to view being independent as a badge of honor. There’s a lot of history behind this and how my beliefs have evolved.
I started working at the age of 10. My mom was a newspaper carrier for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and one day my parents sat me down and asked me if I wanted a job as a paperboy. They warned me that I would have to wake up early and I couldn’t say I didn’t want to do it. I was excited about the opportunity and enthusiastically told them yes. So from 5th grade until I graduated high school I woke up at 5 AM and delivered newspapers in my neighborhood before going to school. I also had to go around and collect payment from my customers and keep track of the money. My parents allowed me to take out $60 a month from what I earned to spend as I wanted, but the rest went into the bank as savings. That job allowed me to buy my own bike, my first computer, and my first double bass, all things that my parents wouldn’t have been able to provide otherwise.
After finishing high school I went to university in Los Angeles, on the other side of the country. While I did receive scholarships and loans, I still needed to work to make ends meet. As an undergraduate I juggled my studies with various part time jobs (working as a teaching assistant at a local bilingual elementary school, holding down a job on campus, and private tutoring). My parents couldn’t afford to pay much towards my studies, and since I was the one that chose to move away I felt the responsibility to make it work.
After finishing my undergraduate and graduate studies, I faced a rough labor market for teachers. After 3 years of trying to make it work, I decided to move to Chile to start a new life. I went with a program and started as a teaching assistant at a school. I then transitioned to working at institutes and universities, supplementing my income with private classes. I managed to keep my living expenses low, and I paid off my student loans of $42,000 in 10 years (as opposed to the 20 years according to the suggested payment plan).
I’ve since gone on to work completely independently in Chile. I managed my schedule, established what I offered and the prices, and planned the routes to take as I traveled around the city (before the move to working online).
As time went on, I realized I couldn’t do it all alone. It was time to swallow my pride and start reaching out for help in a variety of ways.
A friend had recommended a life coach named Hannah Braime that had helped him work through some personal issues, and back in 2014 I hired her to help me work through ways that I was stuck in both my personal and work life. We worked together for about six months, and her coaching really helped me reflect on my limiting beliefs, the role of my inner critic, and what I wanted in life.
After having received not very good therapy while in university and graduate school, I decided to give it another try in Chile. While navigating the system in another country and language (and doing therapy in another language) wasn’t easy, it helped me work on challenges I was facing.
Then in 2017 I reached out to a web designer to build this website and establish myself as a professional. There was no way that I was prepared or willing to try to do it on my own. Having the support of a professional was so helpful in taking the next step in my career.
I’ve since become more comfortable recognizing my limitations and reaching out for help when I need it. And it’s helped me make so much more progress than if I had tried to do it all on my own.
When it comes to TOEFL, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Getting help doesn’t make you weak; on the contrary, it’s a smart move to get you closer to your goals.
My TOEFL group program TOEFL Together starts October 1st. It’s a six-week program happening on Monday and Wednesday evenings that combines group calls with individual calls to ensure you have the support your need to get your TOEFL score.
There are only six spots, so if you’re interested leave a comment below and I’ll send you more information.
